HD is Changing the Rule Book for Good Parenting - Part 2
Teaching Boundaries for Your Generator Child
This will be far from your typical post on the subject of boundaries. If we look at society and how we think about boundaries, some typical examples could be the laws that govern society, including things like the age of majority, when someone is viewed legally as an adult, or when you can get a driver’s license, drink alcohol, or buy cigarettes. Then there are others that you would think would be common sense but need reinforcing in the form of public notice reminders such as “please show up on time for your appointment” to more extreme things like workplace ethics of a “zero-tolerance policy” against verbal abuse or physical violence. Why is this even necessary?
Sadly, we are also taught that boundaries are loose guidelines, such as suggested movie ratings like PG13. We even have an expression for it: “Rules are made to be broken”. As a society, we treat boundaries as something that can be broken and that this is acceptable. I mean, how many people drive at the speed limit?
Today, I will be speaking about boundaries in a completely different way but just maybe, you will see how important boundaries are and that they DO NEED TO BE RESPECTED for all of us to function together in peace and harmony.
TIP: It will be easier to understand this material if you follow along with your child’s HD body graph as well as yours.
Get Your Chart
Human Design offers parents an instruction manual on how to raise their kids that isn’t one-size-fits-all. It is specific to your child and therefore can help you to guide them to be who they were born to be - free from conditioning!
Raising your child according to their auric nature is only one step. This first step is about their boundaries and how they connect with others and therefore teaches how to respect others as well.
You would also need to understand how they make decisions what is referred to as “inner authority” as this is also crucial to teaching them how to trust themselves and how to respect themselves, which builds their self-confidence and self-love. Unfortunately, I will not be covering this aspect in this post.
I cannot tell YOU as a parent how you SHOULD be with your child because your aura interacts and influences your child’s aura. It is equally important that you understand your auric nature, your HD, and how you impact your child without doing anything at all because it’s all in your energy field.
My intentions here are to expose you to a different way of viewing boundaries and how to respect your child’s boundaries and thereby, teach your child about their boundaries.
The Generator and Manifesting Generator
The most important thing you can do for your Generator child is to allow them to respond with their sounds, not forcing them to use words. Don’t worry about etiquette or how neanderthal your child may appear to others. Don’t worry, they are taking in your words and developing their thought process and language skills. Let them make all their sounds of pleasure when they’re eating something enjoyable. Let them huff and puff when they’re upset or frustrated. I remember I would growl and bare my teeth when I was angry. This is authentic communication! This is the Generator experiencing their truth and inner authority. If you force them to use words instead of their sounds you are cutting them off from themselves and their inner authority if they are Pure Generators (meaning they have an undefined Solar Plexus and do not have Emotional authority). In fact, if you force them to use words in RESPONSE, you’re expecting them to behave like a Manifestor.
It’s important to listen to their sounds of dissent and ascent when you ASK them something and to teach them to recognize their responses early in their life because later in life the mind with its internal voice talks over the Sacral sounds.
Giving the Generator permission to use and listen to their Sacral voice is precisely how you protect their boundaries. Manifesting Generators have a defined throat so words do come easily for them but it also means they struggle even more to hear their Sacral voice and as a parent, you play a crucial role in teaching them how to safeguard themselves.
Generators are sensitive to others because their auras are open and enveloping. Remember the analogy of water I used last week? Their auras are attractive and make others feel welcome. If they’re resisting or pulling away from something or someone it means it’s not correct for them. If your Generator child doesn’t want someone to hug or kiss them, don’t force them to. Your child’s boundaries are more important than superficial etiquette. You’re teaching them their feelings are valid and it’s okay to say no to someone else’s touch. If you don’t teach this early in their life, they can be preyed upon in many ways throughout the rest of their life.
Remember their aura is open, enveloping, and magnetic so it is attractive to everyone but not everyone is good for them. Please don’t force your Generator child to “get along” and “befriend everyone”. If they don’t have a defined Throat, they may need your support to help them speak up for them and say no when they don’t want someone in their space until such time that they can use their authority independently.
It may not be the right timing. Respect their rhythm. For example, don’t try to force a Generator child to take a nap when they’re not tired. They need to use up their energy before they’re ready to take a nap or go to sleep at night. Find a healthy outlet for their extra energy like dancing or a silk sling-swing and encourage independent, alone space otherwise, they may very well be taking in your energy and you may be keeping them awake. Going to bed before their Sacral energy is sufficiently used, irregulates their life force and creates mental anxiety - their imagination can run amuck resulting in nightmares.
A Generator child will have the Sacral defined and this is the fuel that needs to exhaust itself before falling asleep. But there are three other potential fuel sources, the Root, Solar Plexus, and the Ego centers. Your Generator may have all three undefined but you as a parent may have them defined. This is why I say, you may be keeping your child awake because they are taking your energy in through their openness. This is why it’s so important to understand how you impact your child. Instead of rocking your child to sleep yourself, it may be better to put them in an automatic swing or a bouncy seat.
Generators like to be busy so if there is something you want them to do, ASK them and most of the time you’ll get a favorable response but if you tell them to do it, you’ll meet resistance. “Telling them” robs them of their authority which doesn’t feel good. Asking them empowers them. This is the key to their happiness and satisfaction in life - teaching them how to respond to life rather than trying to initiate it.
It’s important to respect their rhythm in how they go about their thing. Generators in general are slower and more methodical than Manifesting Generators. Manifesting Generators tend to get things done faster but it’ll be done more randomly or appear as if they’ve gone rogue but the point is they get the job done. Teach your child to focus on their strengths and don’t sweat the small stuff they skip over unless there is a real danger there for them.
In the weeks to come, I will be covering the same subject for the other auric types: Projectors, Manifestors, and Reflectors.
You can let me know what you learned from this newsletter by leaving a comment or direct messaging me. I’d love to hear what your biggest takeaway was.
Please leave a comment - if you don’t want to download the app, you’ll need to login to the Substack website to leave a comment. I apologize for the inconvenience.
I encourage you to ask me questions about Mental Health Matters. Your questions help me serve you and they support my Human Design.
If you know someone who would like to receive my newsletter please share and let’s get the conversation started about Mental Health Matters so that no one ever feels alone.
Thanks for your interest in Mental Health Matters and all the many ways you show your support by reading, subscribing, following, sharing, commenting, and posting your questions to me, Grace Dakini!
If you use the Substack App, you’ll also have easy access to my daily Notes.
Remember to check out my other articles! You’ll also find Human Design Resources with all the links you’ll need to start exploring your HD.
P.S.
It’s been a while since I have shared an update for those of you who have been following my mother’s story. She remains in hospital care. At the time of this post, she’s been in hospital care for 105 days.
It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride for me to witness her gradually get better to then suffer setbacks.
Back in July, we were looking forward to her returning home to long-term care and that remains the goal. It’s a mixed bag. There are improvements but some things are still uncertain.
I’m immensely grateful to live in a country that has medical care and for the exceptional people who provide for all her needs.