HD is Changing the Rule Book for Good Parenting - Part 4
Teaching Boundaries for Your Manifestor Child
Human Design offers parents an instruction manual on how to raise their kids that isn’t one-size-fits-all. It is specific to your child and can help you guide them to be who they were born to be, free from conditioning!
Raising your child according to their auric nature is only one step. This first step is about their boundaries and how they connect with others and teaches how to respect others. This cannot be more useful than for the Manifestor to learn as it will dramatically reduce the resistance they meet in life.
If this is your first time reading my publication, you may want to read Part One of this series which conceptualizes the four auric types.
You would also need to understand their inner authority - how they make decisions. This is also crucial to their development as it teaches them how to trust themselves and how to respect themselves, which builds their confidence and self-love.
I cannot tell you how you SHOULD parent! I cannot say how YOU should be with your child because your aura interacts with and influences your child’s aura. It is equally important that you understand your auric nature and your HD and how you impact your child without doing anything at all - it’s all in your energy field.
My intentions here are to expose you to a different way of viewing boundaries and how to respect your child’s boundaries and thereby, teach your child about their boundaries.
The Manifestor
Ah, now we come to the Manifestor child. The moment of their birth is unlike any other.
The Generator child is embraced and welcomed with open arms. Everyone wants to hold a Generator baby.
The Projector newborn is also received with adoring eyes and likewise held close to the heart.
The Reflector baby with its non-intrusive aura is gently cradled as it feels more fragile than other newborns yet there is a mysterious magic about them that fills the space with wonder.
And then we have the Manifestor baby. The moment she/he has left the mother’s womb and is placed in her arms, the mother is impacted and cannot help but feel repelled by her child. Immediately, the mother doesn’t understand why she’s experiencing this polarized affection. She loves her child but feels pushed away. Will she admit this to anyone? Unlikely. And so, she feels guilty for these feelings and hides them. But subconsciously, she’ll have to prove to herself she IS a good mother because she feels betrayed by her feelings.
Don’t take it that the father isn’t similarly impacted. He is. It simply is more dramatic for the mother because she carried the child. I can only imagine these mothers are more apt to experience postpartum depression because of something that is purely energetic dissonance.
These children from an early age, basically as soon as they can move on their own, show extreme independence. When you have a self-contained and self-motivated child, they do things without asking permission. They just do whatever they want completely unaware of themselves or how they impact others. So naturally, they feel unpredictable to their parents or anyone around them.
Remember the mom? How she needs to make it right within herself and prove she’s a good mom to herself. This is when good parenting can harm your child’s development. The tendency here would be to want to control their Manifestor child, especially their movements, so restrictions are imposed. Early on, the Manifestor child disobeys, not out of rebelliousness but because they are following their inner authority.
The Manifestor child with their closed and repelling aura, like fire, meets the most resistance from others from the time they are born and they get punished for being who they are.
Despite having a closed and repelling aura, they still get conditioned away from their nature and either feel they have to go it alone, doing everything for themselves without any help from others on the sly or they try to placate and live passively. Neither of those paths will lead to the peace they so desire but rather will deepen their anger towards life.
If you want your child to grow up to be healthy, autonomous, and able to contribute their uniqueness in society as a Manifestor, teaching them boundaries is paramount. Not YOUR boundaries but theirs. How you do this is by teaching them their life strategy which is to INFORM.
For children, it starts by teaching good manners. It’s more polite to ask to leave the table than it is to just leave because you’ve had enough or are bored with the table conversation and would rather go eat in front of the TV. Give them the freedom to leave the table if they have asked permission, even if you don’t like it. This is the early development of teaching them to inform.
They are so self-contained that they are not aware of themselves or others. By teaching them to ask for permission you also need to teach them who they are impacting. They get permission from the person they are impacting.
Please, please, recognize that if you are another energy type this may seem obvious to you - teaching GOOD MANNERS! But it is something the Manifestors will struggle to learn because they aren’t aware of how they impact people. Be consistent and be patient with them.
When they inform before they take action, this eliminates their unpredictability and puts everyone at ease. They meet less resistance in life, which reinforces and validates the method of asking permission.
These are the children who, once they can reach the door knob and open the door on their own, they are going to walk out of their house to go to the park, the corner store, the beach, or whatever suits them without any thought of asking permission. You want to teach them to ask permission before they do something. Give them the yes, their independence, as much as possible.
This doesn’t mean you can’t say no. Your job is still to keep them safe and to teach them how to function within a collective and that collective will at first be the family unit. Going into another family member’s bedroom without asking permission is not okay. Taking things that don’t belong to them just because they like it and want it, is not okay.
It will be difficult for a Manifestor child to learn to ask permission because they aren’t designed to ask permission - they are designed to inform. From birth, they are independent and have their own authority and never really understand how much they need others. By teaching them to ask permission and granting their autonomy whenever possible the energetic dissonance will be resolved and creates peace and harmony for everyone.
They have what everyone wants. Manifesting power. Manifestors used to be the great rulers of our planet. Now, they are struggling to know their place in the world. The best thing you can do is allow them the freedom to be themselves and independent as long it doesn’t put themselves or anyone else in danger.
It strikes me as ironic that without knowing it, the majority of us (Generators and Projectors) interfere with and try to prevent Manifestors from being the great initiators they are. Meanwhile, what are the rest of us trying to do and be? We’re imitating Manifestors. We’re out there initiating and trying to force results or trying to gain recognition for our skills.
As they mature, you can teach them the difference between asking for permission and informing.
Informing is not about asking permission. It is a simple statement to inform others without any expectations attached to it from the Manifestors’ side. They may say, “The garbage needs to be emptied” but it isn’t intended as anything more than a statement. It needs to be emptied. They are not telling you to empty the garbage. They so easily get misunderstood because of how their mechanics interact with others, through no fault of their own. They have a motorized throat; they may very well blurt out the obvious but it’s not to be taken personally.
What they need to learn is to inform those they will impact of their intentions before they take action. Imagine living with someone who just gets up and leaves the house in the middle of watching a movie. You’re left there thinking, WTF where did they go? When they come back, you’re angry and confrontational with them. When what happened was that they suddenly remembered they needed to get something at the store and immediately ran out to get it. If they had just said, “Hey, I just remembered I need something at the store. I’m going to run out and get it and I’ll be right back. You can keep watching the movie without me”, the confrontation could have been avoided. This is correct “informing” as an adult - that’s your goal as a parent to teach.
If you’ve made it this far in my series, you may be interested in checking out this book by Aypril Porter, “Parenting The Child You Have”.
Next week we will explore the very rare Reflector.
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