HD is Changing the Rule Book for Good Parenting - Part 3
Teaching Boundaries for Your Projector Child
Human Design offers parents an instruction manual on how to raise their kids that isn’t one-size-fits-all. It is specific to your child and therefore it can help you to guide them to be who they were born to be free from conditioning!
Raising your child according to their auric nature is only one step. This first step is about their boundaries and how they connect with others and therefore teaches how to respect others as well.
If this is your first time reading my publication, you may want to read Part One of this series which conceptualizes the four auric types.
You would also need to understand their inner authority - how they make decisions. This is also crucial to their development as it teaches them how to trust themselves and how to respect themselves, which builds their self-confidence and self-love.
I cannot say how you SHOULD parent! I cannot say how YOU should be with your child because your aura interacts and influences your child’s aura. It is equally important that you understand your auric nature and your HD and how you impact your child without doing anything at all - it’s all in your energy field.
My intentions here are to expose you to a different way of viewing boundaries and how to respect your child’s boundaries and thereby, teach your child about their boundaries.
TIP: It will be easier to understand this material if you follow along with your child’s HD body graph as well as yours.
The Projector
Parents need to closely observe their Projector child to understand their biorhythms (their energy level) and their natural gifts. There are three distinct ways that a Projector may operate, according to their inner authority and whether or not they have any defined motors.
I’ve included a few HD body graphs so that you can see how widely different Projectors can be in their design. Halle Barry is a Mental Projector with “no inner authority”. Barbara Streisand is a Classic Projector with “Self-Projected authority” meaning, she is guided by her defined G Center. Brad Pitt is an Energy Projector with “Splenic authority”. Barack Obama is another Energy Projector with “Emotional authority”.
It will be pivotal for you to understand your energy type as well because you will need to be intentional about your HD mechanics in relation to your Projector child. Their success in life depends on your ability to recognize their gifts and for you to foster their development.
What has the greatest impact on all Projectors given their penetrating and absorbing auras will be the people in their lives. Projectors in essence taste others energetically and they can’t spit them back out! When someone doesn’t taste good for them and they don’t want to interact with this person, recognize this for they are the great truth detectors. Other people can literally be toxic to them.
Remember my comparison of their aura being like the Earth in part one of this series? The earth absorbs rainfall and distributes it to plant life. No infants are more vulnerable to disease than projector children. The caregivers you chose may very well be harmful to their health but this doesn’t make the caregiver a bad person, just not right for your child. Think of it like a peanut allergy. Some children cannot be around peanuts at all but peanuts are perfectly healthy for other children. This is pure HD mechanics and it’s why it’s so important this information gets disseminated as far and wide as possible - to protect the next generation!
Projector children may have food sensitivities and may need organic foods because their bodies are absorbing not only nutrients but also the chemicals used in food production. Be attentive to their likes and dislikes when it comes to their food. Likewise, they will be more sensitive to electronic devices and electromagnetic fields because of their absorbing auric nature.
I cannot overemphasize how important it is for them to have quality relationships over quantity. Meaning, don’t put your child in the uncomfortable situation of holding huge birthday parties. This will be overwhelming for them.
Projectors lack self-awareness and need to develop their relationships one-to-one. Projectors get to know themselves through their relationships*. When they are invited correctly and accepted according to their authority, this makes for successful and healthy relationships. They need to be seen for who they are AND, more than any other energy type, they need to be given this RECOGNITION, so that they can learn who they are and become secure in themselves. This means lots and lots of healthy 2-way communication. They especially need others to JUST LISTEN with neutrality as they become older so that they can hear themselves talk, so they can recognize their authority for themselves without being told what they should or shouldn’t do. You can be their sounding board.
As a parent what you want to do that is unique for the Projector child is to INVITE them to take part in whatever - bath time, meal time, playtime, bedtime. This may sound like an absurd idea, a parent inviting their child to go to bed, after all the parent is the authority. But what you’re doing is teaching your Projector child to recognize when an invitation feels correct for them - assuming you as a parent can tell when your child is tired and needs to go to bed. For a Projector child, that is earlier than the Generator child. The Projector child needs quiet time before bedtime to slow down and release the energy they’ve taken in from others throughout their day.
This is their life strategy. Projectors need to be invited. They can’t invite themselves. They can’t initiate. They need to wait to be recognized for who they are, to meet the correct receptive people, and to be invited to participate. They also need to learn to be selective about what invitations they accept.
It’s worth repeating: A big “NO-NO” for Projectors is to be the one doing the inviting to get attention, to gain recognition. This is the “not-self” and they will meet resistance.
What will work best for your Projector child is to allow them to be quiet observers. Projectors are always being noticed even when they are sitting quietly in a corner. Their auras send out the message, “I am here waiting for your invitation”. When you allow them to be silent observers, this is their natural state of readiness. They are keen observers of others. They will more easily gain recognition and invitations when they are silent and not trying to get attention.
The first seven years of their life when they are too young to use their authority, they are completely dependent on the people around them to recognize them for who they are and to encourage their natural gifts. Without the correct recognition because of their openness, Projectors easily take on others’ energies. What that means is, they absorb the expectations of others and they will seek recognition not by being who they are born to be, but by being who you want them to be. I repeat my first sentence - Parents need to closely observe their Projector child to understand their biorhythms (their energy level) and their natural gifts. The question becomes whether they are being recognized for who they are or for who they are not.
Projectors desire recognition and without it, they feel starved for energy. When they feel like this, they become less selective about who they accept invitations from. Because their auras absorb the energies of others, Projectors easily emulate Manifestors and Generators and in the process lose themselves.
When you feel you will not get the life you want, then the tendency is “to settle”, meaning, to compromise yourself. This is what you want to avoid happening to your Projector child and it will happen if you don’t see them for who they are, if you don’t notice their true gifts and nurture them and encourage them.
Understanding your Projector child’s unique inner authority is a whole other subject and too complex for this article but needs to be recognized as well. However, I will give you one quick note for a Projector child with Emotional authority. Like all Projectors, the strategy that allows them to connect correctly with others is to wait to be invited. But as parents, you also need to be patient and avoid putting pressure on them to make an immediate decision as they will need time to ride out their emotional wave to come to a point of clarity. Give them space and time. Then maybe invite them to talk about how they are feeling about the invitation so you can project back to them what you hear them say, without trying to influence their decision. Again, this is about seeing them for who they are and giving them recognition.
Just to be clear, I’m no longer talking about the invitations I mentioned earlier of bath time, meal time, playtime, or bedtime in early childhood. I’m talking about once they start to express their individuality and independence. Recognize if your child has Emotional authority, they need to be given time to feel whatever they feel, to go through the whole wave, before they can make a decision. If they are pressured to decide too soon it will lead to confusion about their authority.
Projector children need to be taught patience around who and when to engage with others. This means they need to learn to wait for the correct invitation and not jump at any invitation that comes their way. This is a building block for their success in life when later as adults they need to make big life decisions like where to go to school, what job to accept, who to marry, and where to live. These should all come to them in the form of formal invitations.
Why are these invitations so important for a Projector? When a Projector receives an invitation, what they are being given is access to the energy and resources of the person or organization that is inviting them. When the invitation is incorrect, they will feel resistance or a lack of energy and excitement about the invitation. This is how you, as a parent, can teach them to follow their authority.
We also tend to forget that most invitations have a limited shelf life. Friendships come and go. Career paths or locations can change. Teaching your Projector child that it’s ok to let go, to recognize when the energy of the other is no longer there for them is essential for their success in life.
I need to back up here and talk a little more about their unique biorhythms. Some Projectors have no motors defined in their HD body graphs like Hall Barry and Barbara Streisand. These are children who will need to take regular naps. And even as they grow older, they will need power naps. Oftentimes, when this isn’t understood, they get labeled as lazy or are seen as procrastinators. When it’s their bio-mechanics that’s misunderstood because these same people can appear like superhumans in their bursts of energy or strength, surpassing Generators. They aren’t designed to hold that kind of energy (especially Sacral energy) for extended periods and it damages their bodies.
Case in point is the life story of Louis Cyr, a Projector who’s known as “The Strongest Man of the 19th Century” for his incredible feats of strength that have yet to be duplicated like his 4-horse pull. Below is an image of him preparing for a 2-horse pull. [Image rights belong to Malevus]
Unlike Generators who have a defined sacral as their primary fuel source, or Manifestors who also have a motor defined and connected to their throat giving them their manifesting power, Projectors are classified as “non-energy” types even though they may have a motor defined. This being the case, their greatest risk when they become conditioned by the energy fields of the other energy types is to be turned into superhumans and they become work slaves or workaholics. They can do this for short periods but their bodies aren’t designed to handle all that energy and when they over-extend themselves it inevitably leads to health problems.
There is no better example of this than Louis Cyr who died at the age of 49 from chronic nephritis. Below is an image depicting his first deadlift to his shoulder of a bolder with the official weight of 514 lbs, at the age of 19 years. This exploit remains unmatched. [Image rights from the film Louis Cyr (2013) and pulled from IMDb publication]
Unlike the Generator child, you shouldn’t allow your Projector child to go to the point of exhaustion. You will need to give them a buffer before bedtime. Giving your Projector child quiet time alone before they go to sleep will allow the energy they have taken in to dissipate.
Teaching your Projector child to recognize themselves and to know when they are recognized by others and what a correct invitation feels like places them on the fast track to success. They will have been able to develop their skills and later in life, they will be sought after for those skills. Projectors should not find themselves having to work harder than everyone else. Projectors should find themselves being well compensated for their unique skills with complete access to an abundant supply of resources and energy.
I love that parents have taken an interest in this series. That’s exciting to hear! There’s no greater gift you can give your child than to do the best to raise them to be who they were born to be - free from conditioning - as much as possible.
I also recommend you reflect on your childhood as you learn about your HD and consider how you have been conditioned away from your nature. How well are you connected with your inner authority? How well do you connect with other people - meaning do you have fulfilling friendships, close bonds with others or not? Are you always trying to force things to happen? Or are you frequently trying to get the ball moving and it feels like you're pushing it uphill? What is your overall emotional experience of life - frustration, bitterness, disappointment, or anger? Those four key emotions are REG FLAGS, indicators that you are not living the life you were born to live.
Next week - Manifestors!
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