Your Mind is Your Nemesis
The dynamic point of inner tension
But First a Word of Caution
It is my mission to expand your self-awareness and empower you to make decisions correctly, using my outer authority but never attempting to be YOUR authority. I ask you to keep in mind, that I am only touching on a very small aspect of Human Design with each article. Whenever I share my example of my Human Design, it is only natural that you will compare it to your Human Design. For you to fully understand that aspect within your body graph it has to be seen within your whole structure, which I cannot do in an article. What we’re doing is looking at a single piece of a bigger puzzle. You don’t know what the big picture is from a single piece unless it’s seen in the whole picture.
I want to stimulate your curiosity to explore your Human Design using my Human Design as an example. If we have an aspect in common, it will only be at the surface level and not in terms of your whole picture. Be aware that the aspect may resonate with you but at the same time not quite, and that’s perfectly okay because we are each uniquely different.
I trust that you are intelligent and capable of experimenting with your Human Design to come to your own conclusions. Please don’t take me at my word! I want you to own your power and it starts with knowing your true self.
Your Mind is Your Nemesis
The dynamic point of inner tension
In my article – STOP MAKING DECISIONS WITH YOUR MIND – I touched on the concept of duality. What the hell does that mean, right?!
Let’s start with the very basics. You’re an intelligent person. You have thoughts. You’re aware that you have thoughts. Maybe, you wish you didn’t have so many thoughts! You also know that you have a subconscious aspect; operating patterns beneath the surface. Our outward behaviors get set in motion very early in life between 0 – 7 years. A child’s mind is completely open and takes everything in – in his/her own way – but without questioning it, without filtering it, without consciously deciding what to keep or not keep information-wise. Early childhood traumas, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping mechanisms as adults are a result of conditioning.
This is part of our duality – our conscious and subconscious selves. Have you ever done something that you’ve gone and said WTF, why did I just do that? I have an embarrassing yet funny story about that. But first, let’s look at how Human Design clearly shows how these two parts of ourselves function together.
When you access your Human Design chart you’ll notice there are two columns. One in red and one in black with planetary symbols and a series of numbers beside them and they correspond with the red, black, or a combination of red and black lines that appear on your body graph. Below is a “Just Now” chart of March 28, 2024 at 14:27 GMT.
The black represents your conscious mind. “Who you think you are” (this is not my phrase, it’s a common phrase used by many trained in the science of differentiation) and labeled as your “personality”.
The red represents your unconscious self. Not your unconscious mind but your neuropathways. Yes, your brain which runs your body is labeled as your “design”. Understand here that part of your unconscious self is within the structure of your body as well as your brain.
The black part of your chart occurred at the exact moment of your birth. That’s why it’s critical when you go to get your chart that you know not just your date of birth but also the place and exact time of your birth. When you left your mother’s womb (or body - however you came into the world) you were imprinted by the neutrino field that passed through your body. This in turn activated and locked in the red part of your chart that was experienced during your gestion 88 degrees earlier – the movement through the solar system – or roughly 88 days earlier. That’s the technical explanation. A bit boring.
Here's the interesting part to ponder. We are all objects moving through space and time. “We” as in us humans, and everything on this planet, including our planet. Great. Simple.
OK, now think about taking a picture of everything happening in the world, or at least at your place of birth, at the moment of your birth. That’s one picture. There’s a ton of information there. Now, imagine if your mother had another picture of everything happening in the world 88 days before your birth. That’s a completely different image with a ton of information. Either image alone could take a lifetime to examine, explore, and understand. It’s no wonder you could spend a lifetime with a life coach or psychologist because we are so incredibly complex. [No offense intended to any professionals out there from my previous article. I’ve been on both sides of the table.]
What I want you to understand is that you are a compilation of two images – two separate moments in time and space – coexisting in your being and being held together by your monopole. Here’s a short audio file of Ra Ura Hu speaking on the subject of the monopole.
Even if you take a smaller snapshot say of the intersection of two roads at two separate times and then you overlaid those two images, it’d be chaotic, right? There will be some stuff that stands out while much of the details will be blurred.
I don’t want you to think you’re the only one who feels messed up. We’re all a mess in some way or another. Our minds are trying to run the whole show while our bodies are giving us different signals.
Here’s my WTF moment, long before I discovered Human Design, that exemplifies what I’m getting at.
While living in Ontario, I had my life coaching office in Quebec. It’s a two-hour drive. I enjoyed this time to myself to mentally prepare myself to serve my clients. My husband, at that time, had received a registered mail notification and asked me to pick it up for him on my way. I answered, “Yes”.
You’ve got to know that I am on the autism spectrum (formally Asperger’s Syndrome). His words were, “to pick it up ON MY WAY”. My internal, physical response was, NO, I didn’t want to do that on my way. That was my time to prepare myself for a long day. But my mind jumped in and argued, “You can’t say no! That would make you a bad wife! You’re going in that direction, it’s only a minor detour”. So, I made the decision from my mind and answered, yes. I still remember how my body responded “no” that day – that was my inner authority but I didn’t know it at the time. I have sacral authority and I ignored it and paid the price for ignoring it. I promise more on inner authority is coming soon.
Do you see the two sides struggling to get along – my mind versus my body?
I leave my house driving my 4x4 Kia Sportage. It was winter and there had been a fresh snowfall. Our country roads were not yet plowed, at least not the side roads. No more than two minutes after leaving my house, I’m driving down the center of the country road, not another vehicle in sight, and what do I do? I take out a roadside mailbox! I literally watched myself steer towards the mailbox, completely unable to stop myself. My mind was calm, free from distractions. I still clearly remember this moment in time, it was as if it were happening in slow motion yet my mind was powerless to stop myself. It was an absurd moment in time and yes, it’s an embarrassing story to share. But I’m sure I’m not the only person who has had something like that happen.
It makes you wonder, is life happening to us or for us and is perhaps a question of perspective. I’m certainly not going to blame life for that ridiculous moment when I took out a roadside mailbox! It’s not like the mailbox jumped out in front of me. Nor am I going to blame my youth. It wasn’t because I was an inexperienced driver. It wasn’t because the snow was so deep that I couldn’t control the car or the snow forced my car in that direction. No, it was purely the mechanics of my Human Design. I was going against my line of geometry and my monopole took over my vehicle. My monopole that drives my vehicle, my body, took over and I only could be a passenger and watch. But our minds do become our worst enemy in moments like this and we call ourselves an idiot. That’s not the path to happiness or self-love.
I drove back home to have my husband look over my car to make sure it was still safe to drive. As he was inspecting the wheel and I told him what had happened, he made the very wise comment, “I guess you didn’t really want to go pick up my mail”. My body sure didn’t!
Being on the spectrum (yet undiagnosed at that time) I took his words literally. It never occurred to me that I could have picked up his mail upon my return which would have been completely agreeable to me. It’s not like he would have gotten the mail any sooner!
Today, I can use my Human Design to explain the duality of that situation and the conflict that happened between my mind and my body.
When you get your Human Design chart, it will show you what your profile is. These are two numbers, a combination between 1 – 6. Briefly, what each number represents are archetypes of human behavior.
1. Investigator
2. Hermit
3. Martyr
4. Opportunist
5. Heretic
6. Role model
There are 12 possible profile combinations and they are the following:
1/3 Investigator / Martyr
1/4 Investigator / Opportunist
2/4 Hermit / Opportunist
2/5 Hermit / Heretic
3/5 Martyr / Heretic
3/6 Martyr / Role Model
4/6 Opportunist / Role Model
4/1 Opportunist / Investigator
5/1 Heretic / Investigator
5/2 Heretic / Hermit
6/2 Role Model / Hermit
6/3 Role Model / Martyr
If you are interested, here is a 1 hour and 22-minute video on all 12 profiles available from IHDS for newcomers. I take no credit for the production of this video. This is a free resource readily available to anyone online.
Remember, I want you to look at your profile to see what are your two moments in time and space that are now trying to live out their expression in one body and one mind. How do they function together or not? My profile is a 6/2 which stands for role model/hermit. They are very polarized archetypical human behavior roles. Also, your profile, just to be absolutely clear here, is NOT part of your decision-making process. Knowing your profile can help to understand how your mind gets in the way of your decision-making process as you saw in my example.
My role model nature is on my conscious side. It’s my mind’s identity. I have felt that pressure of being a role model since I was in diapers! Far too young to be a role model. My mind wants to be in service to others – to stand as an example of ideal human behavior, that’s a lot of mental pressure especially given that my Crown and Ajna centers are undefined. You can see why my mind disapproved of me saying no to my husband. [more about centers and definition in future newsletters]
My hermit nature though is my unconscious side. It’s what my body needs, time alone doing my own thing, to stay healthy. To disobey that, to go against my line of geometry, my monopole dictated to my brain which regulates all automatic bodily functions of survival to take control of the vehicle, my body, as it did that day when it took out a mailbox.
My role model nature loves to be on center stage giving motivational talks to 200 – 300 people. While my hermit nature loves to be hiking all day, just me and my dog. I remind you of my earlier analogy of taking two snapshots and overlaying them. You see how my two pictures as a role model/hermit create an inner tension. This is one of the many kinds of dynamic inner tension of duality that we as humans experience. I cannot be either 100% all the time. When I live both these aspects in balance, I am happy and healthy. However, I struggled a significant part of my life with illness because my hermit nature was being denied. Careful now, there’s much more that factors into the root of illness, it’s not just that my hermit nature wasn’t being respected. More on illness in a future newsletter. However, there is great value in understanding the duality of your nature.
I invite you to explore your Human Design profile and how your duality shows up in your life. Focus on understanding that the first number in your profile is your mind’s way of arguing what’s right for you. And the second number is how your body wants to be in the world. If you feel drawn to share, please post your comments below. Let’s talk about your duality… What did you take away from this newsletter?
Coming Soon…
In my first article – STOP MAKING DECISIONS WITH YOUR MIND – I planted 11 seeds of future content. Every Friday, I will go more in-depth as succinctly as possible on a topic I only hinted at previously. Remember, we’re assembling a puzzle and I’m only delivering one piece at a time. But each piece will require time to process on your own. This is what you can expect in your inbox over the weeks to come:
What is conditioning through the lens of Human Design
I will discuss each type of Authority (your decision-making process);
Emotional Authority
Sacral Authority
Splenic Authority
Heart Center Authority (2 versions according to your energy type)
Self-Projected Authority
Environment Authority
Lunar Authority
How is the mind used correctly as an Outer Authority
Human Design and your Variable of Motivation, such as “hope” (There are 6 different types of motivation)
Understanding the patterns of over-thinking, worry, confusion, and self-doubt. The basic Human Design structure of the mind for every single human being
How do you correctly connect with others through the lens of Human Design
More on why is Human Design not a quick fix and why it’s not easy. How you can work on yourself without the constant effort of working on yourself
If you know someone who would like to receive my newsletter please share and let’s get the conversation started about Mental Health Matters so that no one ever feels alone.