Life Is Too Precious to Waste Worrying – Explained
While My Mother’s Life Hung in the Balance, I Cut My Grass
In my article of June 14, 2024, I sprinkled some Human Design seeds. I will now reveal those seeds.
In my “P.S.”;
Was I afraid? Yes, I experienced fear in my body and the emotional nervousness of losing her. But my mind was blank. I comforted my mind by praying and kept my body busy by cutting my grass.
I was hinting at my awareness of the three distinct awareness systems in my Human Design, how I was experiencing them, and correctly using my energy. Please note, this was correct for me. It doesn’t mean it would be correct for you.
When we speak of fear in the Human Design system there are three different kinds of fears;
(Image Source: The Many Faces of Fear. Illustration credited to Francis Bliven)
1. There is the instinctual survival fear from our Splenic center. This is our oldest awareness system and a source of intelligence if we’re operating correctly. There are seven fears within human nature as you can see from the seven possible connections from the splenic center. (Left brown triangle)
2. The Solar Plexus is an evolving awareness center and as such a source of fear but it is not a true fear. It is a nervous energy because it is emotional and there is “no truth in the now”. With any of the emotions from the solar plexus, you must ride out the full emotional wave to gain clarity. Depending on where you are in the emotional wave it will color reality accordingly. The solar plexus is a mirror of the splenic center and likewise has seven possible nervous responses. (Right brown triangle)
3. The Ajna center is our third awareness center and is part of our mental process. It is under constant pressure from the Crown center. You experience mental anxiety from the Ajna because you have given your authority over to your mind. The Ajna has six possible anxieties. (Top green triangle)
I experienced fear in my body because I am defined between my Spleen and Root centers through the channel of transformation that is tribal (32-54). It is all about the well-being of my family, in this case, my mother.
Without my knowledge and experience of my Human Design, it would have triggered a primal fear in me because my “not-self” mind would’ve hi-jacked this life force energy. The ancient biological need for our parents’ nurturing and protection is innate to us all. Without the presence of our parents in our lives we experience fear for our survival and the not-self mind doubts our ability to carry on without them as our safety net.
However, I was aware that there was no imminent threat to my life and that I could survive on my own without my mother. I still experienced fear (to a lesser degree) in my body because I was in a state of anticipation when the body’s awareness was heightened in preparation for the fight or flight drive coming from the connection to my defined Root center. My point is that you cannot escape your fears but you can manage them better.
At the same time, I did experience an emotional nervousness of losing my mother. I had been informed that they were working on saving her life. The only truth was that she was still alive. It feels wrong to grieve for someone while they are still alive. On an emotional level, I was also in a state of anticipation. Like the Spleen waiting for the “fight or flight”, my Solar Plexus was waiting for the release of either the “happy or sad” hormonal response. This is why we can experience emotional numbness at such times.
When you have an undefined Solar Plexus, you are extremely sensitive to the emotional world because you take in the emotions of others and they are amplified by 300%. Therefore, you are very uncomfortable with emotional pain and try to avoid this discomfort. I have an undefined emotional system and without my knowledge of my Human Design, my not-self mind would have made me unable to function because I would have been overwhelmed emotionally, falling into the depths of despair.
Notice that both these centers, the Spleen and Solar Plexus, each have three channels connecting to the Root center. The Root center is a motor within your body and its fuel is adrenaline. Learning how to discharge adrenaline is simple enough. It’s a matter of burning that fuel through activity. I did so by cutting my grass. Most of the time I do so by getting my steps in.
I have been committed to living according to my Human Design for four years. I can say that my mind was blank because, with time, it has become a passenger of consciousness. My mind can sit back and observe life (most of the time 😉).
I have an undefined Ajna and Crown with a hanging gate of realizing (gate 47). Coincidently, this gate is also part of my Incarnation Cross which is another way of saying it is part of my life purpose. My not-self mind is filled with the energy of oppression. I can be highly pessimistic when I am not trusting my inner authority. That is why it was comforting for me to keep my mind busy with prayer.
What is the not-self mind? It is filled with doubts, confusion, and uncertainty that form the foundation of mental anxiety.
Who can have a not-self mind? Everyone, regardless of whether or not you have a defined or undefined Crown and Ajna. You’ll have a not-self mind as long as you are making decisions from your mind instead of following your inner authority in accordance with your auric nature.
It’s only when you have been using your inner authority correctly for several years that you will be able to distinguish your three awareness centers.
If you are new to Human Design and interested in experimenting with your Human Design, please don’t expect that you will GET all of this immediately.
Let me give you a quick heads-up on what to expect. In your first year, your challenge will be to recognize the difference between your inner authority and your not-self mind. Your first challenge will be to make the shift to using your mind as an observer. I can promise you that it’s not an easy process because you are still using your mind but it’s in unfamiliar territory. Your mind naturally questions everything and it struggles to distinguish itself between the not-self mind and the observer mind. The not-self mind doesn’t want to give up the control of making decisions.
Also, I will not promise you that life will be all rainbows and unicorns once you are following your inner authority. However, you will be able to respond correctly to the challenges of life when you are operating correctly according to your unique Human Design.
Despite the uncertainties I have been facing, I have felt a “correctness” in my life. I am where I belong. I am fulfilling my life purpose and even the mundane tasks, like cleaning my fridge, give me satisfaction.
P.S. My mother is no longer in ICU but remains in hospital care. Now 49 days in hospital care.
Thanks for reading!
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The Daily View; Following the Sun’s transit through the 64 gates