I heard a great analogy on people pleasing today from Nick Pollard, he said if someone offered you a cake they made that had peanuts in, and you were deathly allergic to peanuts, would you eat the cake to make the other person happy?
You eat the cake each time you act to please, rather than for your own reasons.
I lost 3 subscribers today after my latest post, then gained 3 more. I only know because I get emails, of course it's nice to grow your subscribers but I'm much rather have people who want to engage and read my posts than people who don't, so no hard feelings, I wish them all well.
I glossed over the HD stuff, that's not for me, but your advice to Emma hit the mark, there's no one way to get it right!
Oh, thanks for sharing that analogy! I know someone who that could help.
I’m with you about subscribers. I want that too and I like your attitude about losing subscribers, “no hard feelings…”
Admittedly, I’m guilty to some extent, that I haven’t read and engaged with the writers I subscribe to. Not out of a lack of interest or desire but for a lack of time and energy. Something I should keep in mind for myself!
No worries about glossing over the HD stuff. I respect that and I appreciate your honesty.
It’s difficult finding the time isn’t it, I’d love to read everything the people who engage with me and who I engage with write but it’s just not possible. I do my best when I can though.
Very interesting and helpful discussion, showcasing how understanding the HD description of human behavior, offered you insight into Emma’s uncertainty & anxiety, and gave you possible solutions & encouragements to offer Emma.
Your granular examination of the many ways that your Gate 18 gift of critical awareness, is affected by relationships with other centers and gates, inspires a question:
Can we assume that the gifts we are offered in our various gates, will be misused early in our lives, and become areas of opportunity to learn from our youthful mistakes?
Most of my gates are unpaired like your Gate 18. For instance, Gate 5 seems to offer me a heightened ability to consistently channel my Sacral center energies into daily routines … for example ….. consistently exercising and maintaining a healthy diet. There is, however, no connection with the Gate 15 of my empty identity center …. and there have been a myriad of self-defeating ego reactions related to my life-long involvement in learning to care for my body better as I get older. Sometimes, arrogance when I compare my fit body to others my age, or critical judgements of others buying unhealthy foods, or condemning myself if I miss a day of exercise, or enjoy even one too many chocolate chips cookies!! (It’s a loooooonnnnng list!)
Thank you for the challenging article, that inspired both the interest & needing to re-read it several times !!
Thank you Randolph. I love your HD questions and I will take the time to answer them.
I’m just too tired at this moment. I’ve had a long day and I will have a busy one tomorrow with my mother.
To better answer your questions, if you’re willing to share your birth information by DM (not publicly) I can use my software to see your full HD chart. I have the MMI software from Jovian which is more sophisticated than the free charts you can get online.
HD has provided an easily comprehensible framework for collating the inner work from my many decades of studying systems that offered complicated (and marginally helpful) guides for self-study (psycho-therapy, Jungian psychology, astrology, Myers-Briggs, enneagram, Gurdjieff-Ouspensky, Fourth Way). Maybe I had to plow thru the previous systems to appreciate the detailed, practical, revelatory insights available by studying the HD chart … truly mind-blowing
🥰 it’s marvellous to have those breakthroughs - regardless of how long it took to get there!
I used to have a wonderful coach, who would ask his clients, young and mature, how old they were precisely after that moment of their breakthrough and he’d exclaim, “how wonderful it is that you realized that at X age!”. Because it is our human nature to immediately THINK, I wish I figured “this” out sooner. It was his humours way to give us a gentle nudge (be happy with that achievement) and convey the message better late than never.
I too misused meditation in my early practice. I used it to disassociate.
I truly can appreciate your comment as I too have studied many of those same systems as well as others. I couldn’t agree more with you.
Honestly, from our exchanges thus far, I would say those decades of study did in fact provide you with a solid foundation and is why you are able to digest and appreciate HD the way you are.
Most beginners find it too complex and overwhelming… not that I blame them. HD enthusiasts like myself tend to throw too much information at beginners. When really all a beginner needs is to know their strategy and authority - all the rest will be revealed over time as they learn to practice following their unique S&A. That’s why I’ve shifted in my writing to use less of the HD language.
You might be onto something by focusing on the HD notions of authority & strategy. Learning those HD basics about my sacral authority and “to respond” strategy, shined a new light on all I thought I knew about myself … so much of my previous inner work, I can see now, was actually working against myself … as big a breakthru, as learning just 3 years ago that meditation was not about transformation as much as it was about discovery.
Now, I am starting to question something… my early work was heavy with Human Design and my later work still has HD present but in a subtle way as I imagined my readers getting either bored or overwhelmed by the HD content. My intention was never to “teach” HD but to expose how it has helped me understand myself and connect with others (like my mother) and in turn make others curious about discovering their HD.
Your feedback has given me much to consider in how I approach my writing this year. Thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
To answer your question, “Can we assume that the gifts we are offered in our various gates, will be misused early in our lives, and become areas of opportunity to learn from our youthful mistakes?”;
Yes, that is a good approximation. Whatever is defined in your HD body graph, whether the gates are paired or hanging, get misused through all the undefined centers. Later in life, for those of us with the capacity to self-reflect, learn, and change the potential possibility is 2 fold:
1- the correct use of our inner and outer authority;
2- the areas in our life where we once were conditioned away from our true nature (all the white areas in our HD body graph) opens us to understanding others better and may become a greater source of wisdom for our authorities mentioned above.
Your gate 5 is in fact working through your channel of transformation (32-54) and channel of power (34-57). Gate 34 has sustainable energy to fuel 4 gates and is the only gate in the graph that can do this. And your life force energy is connected with your root center (another motor, the body’s adrenaline pump) via the splenic centre.
Your “life-long involvement in learning to care for my body” is coming from your hanging gate 29, the quality of assessment or discernment of saying yes, I have energy for that. Remember, because it’s a hanging gate, your DNA is seeking what is on the over side which is gate 46 - learning to love the body.
Thank you for your questions and engagement. I very much appreciate and enjoy this interaction.
And thank you for introducing us to the HD system for better understanding ourselves & others. To quote Blake Roberts (MMFT) from his Substack blog today: the unconscious mind is fascinating and INCREDIBLY good at keeping us safe … or at least … keeping our PERCEPTION of safety
Hi Grace! I'm so honoured my call for help inspired your writing this week. I really enjoyed reading your piece. I've never heard of human design before, but I am interested! I'll have to take the quiz :)
Thanks again for your wonderful advice and for so kindly sharing my page with your readers! xx
You’re very welcome ☺️ Human Design isn’t a quiz! It’s not like a cognitive function or personality test. It’s your personal operating manual and map based on your birth date, time and place. If you would like a brief review of your HD to understand your inner authority (how to make decisions that are correct for you) and how you are designed to connect with others, I would be happy to get on a zoom call with you. No charge. Please note that Birth time is critical information.
I heard a great analogy on people pleasing today from Nick Pollard, he said if someone offered you a cake they made that had peanuts in, and you were deathly allergic to peanuts, would you eat the cake to make the other person happy?
You eat the cake each time you act to please, rather than for your own reasons.
I lost 3 subscribers today after my latest post, then gained 3 more. I only know because I get emails, of course it's nice to grow your subscribers but I'm much rather have people who want to engage and read my posts than people who don't, so no hard feelings, I wish them all well.
I glossed over the HD stuff, that's not for me, but your advice to Emma hit the mark, there's no one way to get it right!
Oh, thanks for sharing that analogy! I know someone who that could help.
I’m with you about subscribers. I want that too and I like your attitude about losing subscribers, “no hard feelings…”
Admittedly, I’m guilty to some extent, that I haven’t read and engaged with the writers I subscribe to. Not out of a lack of interest or desire but for a lack of time and energy. Something I should keep in mind for myself!
No worries about glossing over the HD stuff. I respect that and I appreciate your honesty.
It’s difficult finding the time isn’t it, I’d love to read everything the people who engage with me and who I engage with write but it’s just not possible. I do my best when I can though.
Very interesting and helpful discussion, showcasing how understanding the HD description of human behavior, offered you insight into Emma’s uncertainty & anxiety, and gave you possible solutions & encouragements to offer Emma.
Your granular examination of the many ways that your Gate 18 gift of critical awareness, is affected by relationships with other centers and gates, inspires a question:
Can we assume that the gifts we are offered in our various gates, will be misused early in our lives, and become areas of opportunity to learn from our youthful mistakes?
Most of my gates are unpaired like your Gate 18. For instance, Gate 5 seems to offer me a heightened ability to consistently channel my Sacral center energies into daily routines … for example ….. consistently exercising and maintaining a healthy diet. There is, however, no connection with the Gate 15 of my empty identity center …. and there have been a myriad of self-defeating ego reactions related to my life-long involvement in learning to care for my body better as I get older. Sometimes, arrogance when I compare my fit body to others my age, or critical judgements of others buying unhealthy foods, or condemning myself if I miss a day of exercise, or enjoy even one too many chocolate chips cookies!! (It’s a loooooonnnnng list!)
Thank you for the challenging article, that inspired both the interest & needing to re-read it several times !!
Thank you Randolph. I love your HD questions and I will take the time to answer them.
I’m just too tired at this moment. I’ve had a long day and I will have a busy one tomorrow with my mother.
To better answer your questions, if you’re willing to share your birth information by DM (not publicly) I can use my software to see your full HD chart. I have the MMI software from Jovian which is more sophisticated than the free charts you can get online.
HD has provided an easily comprehensible framework for collating the inner work from my many decades of studying systems that offered complicated (and marginally helpful) guides for self-study (psycho-therapy, Jungian psychology, astrology, Myers-Briggs, enneagram, Gurdjieff-Ouspensky, Fourth Way). Maybe I had to plow thru the previous systems to appreciate the detailed, practical, revelatory insights available by studying the HD chart … truly mind-blowing
🥰 it’s marvellous to have those breakthroughs - regardless of how long it took to get there!
I used to have a wonderful coach, who would ask his clients, young and mature, how old they were precisely after that moment of their breakthrough and he’d exclaim, “how wonderful it is that you realized that at X age!”. Because it is our human nature to immediately THINK, I wish I figured “this” out sooner. It was his humours way to give us a gentle nudge (be happy with that achievement) and convey the message better late than never.
I too misused meditation in my early practice. I used it to disassociate.
I truly can appreciate your comment as I too have studied many of those same systems as well as others. I couldn’t agree more with you.
Honestly, from our exchanges thus far, I would say those decades of study did in fact provide you with a solid foundation and is why you are able to digest and appreciate HD the way you are.
Most beginners find it too complex and overwhelming… not that I blame them. HD enthusiasts like myself tend to throw too much information at beginners. When really all a beginner needs is to know their strategy and authority - all the rest will be revealed over time as they learn to practice following their unique S&A. That’s why I’ve shifted in my writing to use less of the HD language.
You might be onto something by focusing on the HD notions of authority & strategy. Learning those HD basics about my sacral authority and “to respond” strategy, shined a new light on all I thought I knew about myself … so much of my previous inner work, I can see now, was actually working against myself … as big a breakthru, as learning just 3 years ago that meditation was not about transformation as much as it was about discovery.
I enjoy Blake Robert’s posts as well 👍🏻
You’re very welcome.
Now, I am starting to question something… my early work was heavy with Human Design and my later work still has HD present but in a subtle way as I imagined my readers getting either bored or overwhelmed by the HD content. My intention was never to “teach” HD but to expose how it has helped me understand myself and connect with others (like my mother) and in turn make others curious about discovering their HD.
Your feedback has given me much to consider in how I approach my writing this year. Thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
To answer your question, “Can we assume that the gifts we are offered in our various gates, will be misused early in our lives, and become areas of opportunity to learn from our youthful mistakes?”;
Yes, that is a good approximation. Whatever is defined in your HD body graph, whether the gates are paired or hanging, get misused through all the undefined centers. Later in life, for those of us with the capacity to self-reflect, learn, and change the potential possibility is 2 fold:
1- the correct use of our inner and outer authority;
2- the areas in our life where we once were conditioned away from our true nature (all the white areas in our HD body graph) opens us to understanding others better and may become a greater source of wisdom for our authorities mentioned above.
Your gate 5 is in fact working through your channel of transformation (32-54) and channel of power (34-57). Gate 34 has sustainable energy to fuel 4 gates and is the only gate in the graph that can do this. And your life force energy is connected with your root center (another motor, the body’s adrenaline pump) via the splenic centre.
Your “life-long involvement in learning to care for my body” is coming from your hanging gate 29, the quality of assessment or discernment of saying yes, I have energy for that. Remember, because it’s a hanging gate, your DNA is seeking what is on the over side which is gate 46 - learning to love the body.
Thank you for your questions and engagement. I very much appreciate and enjoy this interaction.
And thank you for introducing us to the HD system for better understanding ourselves & others. To quote Blake Roberts (MMFT) from his Substack blog today: the unconscious mind is fascinating and INCREDIBLY good at keeping us safe … or at least … keeping our PERCEPTION of safety
Hi Grace! I'm so honoured my call for help inspired your writing this week. I really enjoyed reading your piece. I've never heard of human design before, but I am interested! I'll have to take the quiz :)
Thanks again for your wonderful advice and for so kindly sharing my page with your readers! xx
You’re very welcome ☺️ Human Design isn’t a quiz! It’s not like a cognitive function or personality test. It’s your personal operating manual and map based on your birth date, time and place. If you would like a brief review of your HD to understand your inner authority (how to make decisions that are correct for you) and how you are designed to connect with others, I would be happy to get on a zoom call with you. No charge. Please note that Birth time is critical information.
Oh, I’m sorry! I misunderstood! Thank you for explaining it more to me :)